What to do when you have a V-Day with a lot of moving parts.
OK. So, Valentine’s day couldn’t have come at a more interesting time this year. The day after the Super Bowl and on a Monday. Notice I used “moving parts” and “interesting” vs. the word busy to describe parting all day, waking up early on Monday, going to work, maybe even dropping the kids off at school, picking them up, etc. Most people would refer to this as busyness. Now I ask yourself what sounds more like chaos to you? A person who is running around busy all day or a person who is managing the moving parts of their day. I say this because the words we choose have an energy to them, a frequency. As a coach I am a master wordsmith, I’ve removed the word “busy” from my vocabulary replacing it with phrases that are far more supportive to what I actually desire to create. Upgrading your wording, changes the lens in which you view your life from and that upgrade increases the quality of your life. So, stop yourself before buying into the “life is so busy” conversation and whatever you do don’t speak it out loud. The Universe hears you and you’ll just get more of it. The more you say it the more you are also reinforcing frenetic energy into your life. As my mentor Jenna Phillips Ballard says, “You have the same hours in a day that Beyoncé does”. OK, so now that we are ready to have a grounded, centered and intentional Valentine’s Day you may be wondering, How do I do that?
You have a Game Plan and you plan with your partner. Here are some things to consider.
The way you start the day is everything! Knowing that the Super Bowl is the night before, make a choice with your partner not to drink alcohol or agree that you’re both going to take it EZ. Drink lowers your immune system, is a depressant, and will have you waking up sluggish. If you’re more committed to having an amazing Valentine’s Day together vs. tying one on, make an agreement before going out for the Super Bowl and stick to it. Make your relationship Game Plan the most important game day plan.
Now that you’re ready to start the day off fresh, set the alarm a little bit earlier to get up before the kids and/or before you both go running in separate directions for the day. Decide how you are going to take time to connect. Maybe it’s over breakfast or a coffee and since this is an important day where the most important thing is for you and your partner to feel seen, loved and heard- TURN OFF YOUR PHONES!
Yeah but, work, my calendar, the weather, I hear you and trust me I’ve heard it all. Now hear me, there is nothing more important than connecting with your lover first thing in the morning, especially on Valentine’s Day. Practice presence and here are some great ways to connect and go deeper with your partner.
#1. Make eye contact with each other.
#2. Ask, how would you like to feel today?
#3. Listen to what they say. Listen.
#4. Ask, Why is feeling (repeat back what they said) important to you?
#5 Listen again and repeat back what you heard them say.
From this space start your day and make love simple. You don’t have to do a million things to prove to your partner you love them, if you’re with the “right person” the simple things will matter the most. Don’t fall victim to all the media hype and pressure. Easy goes along way verse forcing plans. Which brings me to dinner!
Order in- Seriously, you create the environment. Make a list of your favorite love songs (of course wedding song included), candles, spray scents you love, dress up for each other and for yourself, break out the nice china, and be the source of the love. It’s special because you say so.